Situation #2.6: I am in a mixed marriage. Both of us speak English to each other, but I want to use Chinese with my child.Reality: Research has found that the one-parent-one-language strategy, where each parent speaks a different language to the child, is still very effective in developing bilingualism. This strategy will not work well, however, if one of the parents does not understand the other parent’s language. It would very likely break down the family’s communication on the whole with constant translation and inevitably switch all conversations back to the common language. The one-parent-one-language strategy will work much better if both can understand the languages. For example, if both parents know Cantonese and Mandarin, but one is more proficient in one language over the other, and vice versa, they can speak whatever language they like to each other. But they can decide that one parent communicates only Mandarin with the child, and the other parent, only Cantonese. The key is to be consistent with whichever strategy you employ, because a child can be confused, especially during periods of uncertainty (e.g. moving to another home or country). In this example, your child has acquired at least two languages in the home, with a passive understanding of English. Before long, she will become trilingual.

Situation #2.5: We require Chinese to be spoken at home, but our child is reluctant to do so.Reality: At times, you may become discouraged when your child is reluctant to use the home language. Other pressures outside the home, such as that a teacher or a relative may say the child is not competent in English, or within the home, such as that the child is not living up to your expectation of competency in Chinese, may add to your doubts toward the benefits of Chinese learning. You may even be tempted to discontinue using Chinese at home with him altogether.

Research shows that continuing to speak to the child in Chinese would give the child at least a passive knowledge of the language, which may well be reactivated eventually. While it is advisable for you to persist in speaking Chinese to him, there may be special factors why your child is reluctant to use the home language. It is better to proceed carefully with an awareness of your child’s individual personality, while showing understanding and good humor. It is far worse to end up frustrating the child, demean the use of English, and indirectly place an adverse effect on his speaking Chinese. You may continue to offer him every opportunity available to use the home language and to help him express thoughts that are difficult for him in vocabulary and language forms. Expect a learning period. If you do require the rule of speaking Chinese at home, explain the reason you are doing so with compassion. Make it a family mission for everyone, especially if there are siblings. Listen attentively to his point of view, but be firm of your decision. This will most likely ensure a positive note on such action.

Family involvement is crucial to your child’s progress. Your viewpoint toward Chinese conveys the priority your child would have for the language. The learning of Chinese should not need to be pressured. Contrary to the common belief, it can be natural and fun. You can use both English and Chinese with your child interchangeably, emphasizing neither, allowing the child to regard both languages as workable communication means used by the family. Or you can make a choice of speaking Chinese solely based on your family situation. Remember that it is the way of life in most of the rest of the world to have more than one language. There are very few countries where people speak only one language.