Situation #3.5: I am not sure whether my child can benefit from being a part of a Chinese community when learning the language.Reality: It seems apparent that having communal support in the environment helps a child learn the heritage language more effectively. It is quite true that it is so. But only to the fact that it justly reflects the positive attitude the family places toward the language for the child and that the child finds his cultural identity in the community, which are both crucial to learning a language.

There is one caution, however, that there are two different types of communities that a child can be involved in, one that often uses the heritage language for interactions and one that has only the cultural elements sans language. The former can definitely build his confidence to use the home language with others. If you can find different settings where the child can speak regularly to adults or children his age range in Chinese, it would help immensely. The latter community can help your child in the sense that there are Chinese people out there, other than his family, who look similar to him, eat similar things he likes, and celebrate similar holidays. Take heed, however, that this group cannot help him learn the language much. Also, be aware of any sign showing that your child feels odd being one of the few who is learning Chinese, while the others may not need to do so. Be sure to talk with him to clarify any misconceptions if this is the case.

Periodically, you need to weigh and balance the amount your child is exposed to Chinese listening and speaking in day-to-day living. These passive skills are sometimes missed out in a typical Chinese school curriculum. Especially in a monolingually-dominant society when he is exposed to mostly English in school a major part of his day, the amount of exposure to Chinese is extremely low. Make a plan as a family to provide your child a balanced experience from the impact of both languages.

Situation #3.4: I am skeptical about choosing Mandarin as the language to learn since we speak a different Chinese dialect (e.g. Cantonese, Toisanese) at home, but most curricula are in Mandarin.

Reality: The best language to learn is the language you use to communicate with the members at home. You already have the best environment for your child to learn. Why waste it? You need to be aware, however, that the spoken forms of most spoken dialects (excluding Mandarin) can be quite different from their written form, which is very much standard and similar across all dialects. Therefore, you need to ensure that your child understands the written form at the same time she is acquiring your dialect. What this means is that your child needs to be read to frequently enough to be able to understand the written form used in books and other written materials. This will help her immensely toward Chinese literacy. Furthermore, it will become much easier for her to learn Mandarin later on if you deem Mandarin to be an important language to learn because Mandarin and most dialects share an extremely similar writing system.

Some dialects, like Cantonese, have invented their own characters to convey their particular sounds and speaking styles in pop cultural written materials like magazines. However, the official writing in books still utilizes the standard writing system.

The reality is that a child can progress much faster if the language is being heard and used repeatedly outside of class as a real-life communication tool. Thus, for a Cantonese-speaking family, the natural way for the child to learn Chinese should be that she learns Cantonese (at least initially), rather than going straight to Mandarin, especially when the child is young. Sadly, the latter is usually the approach that families use due to the standing Mandarin has in society, which confirms the status quo in our world, without choice, that the prestige of languages is linked very closely to societal power.

If your native Chinese dialect is unpopular or is dying out, it would still justify for your child to learn the home dialect simply for individual needs and preferences, but you should be prepared for the fact that learning a language that is of lower prestige in the society will invite pressure and prejudice from outside your family. Therefore, from the very beginning, you should understand how to cope with this reality and decide as a family what your mission is in using your native dialect.